So sad, My mid term test for Operating Systems were not good. I only reached the half hall mark, Which i can say is inconsistent of the effort i had put in. Why is it so? I don't wana complain about it. Coz most of my coursemates are having the smae marks as I am. But i wish i can get higher. Haigh....Maybe my study method is wrong. Maybe i had not been consisten enough as i had earlier tought i were. Tommorow is My OOP test and i had still not really understand what the heck is going on. Theoritcally, I had finish studied the slides, but can I really do it tommrow? Not to mention next weeks coming nightmares. Sigh!!~ Holy cow. Maybe JPA has made one mistake by giving me the scolarship. Shit man i suddenly feel that i don't deserve to be awarded a scolarship. I was never a good student for a long time counting and seem like it that this trend will continue. How i wish i can relive my alpha days. Now goddamit i m starting to miss my alpha days. When i was at alpha i was always so persistent and can't wait to go to degree level, now in 2nd year degree, The fucked up me look back at the past again.
Looks like this sem will not really be much diffrent compared to the last three. But deep down i still hope i can make it this time and in the future. I wana get good results due to many reasons and getting a good CGPA to make job searching in the future was never really one of them. I wana prove to myself that i still can do it. I wana show myself and those whom used to know me that i still can do. But looks like the more i try, the more nothing will ever going to change. Eventhough i cant deny the problem in my ass really had taken a whole lot of time and making my emotions down and not suitable to study, I dont wana give this excuse. Haiz! Looks like The A targeted for this subject can be waved bye bye now. Haiz...... Hope i can still manage to pick up the pieces and nail it this sem.
No comments:
Post a Comment